Catholics who lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks say faith sustains them 25 years later

Twenty-five years after the attacks of September 11, 2001, Catholics who lost loved ones say their faith has been a mainstay in coping with the loss, according to National Catholic Reporter.

Joseph Connor, a 60-year-old New Yorker, recalled the moment a commercial airliner hit the north tower of the World Trade Center. Connor was in his office on the 36th floor of a nearby building, about half a kilometer away, and heard the impact. As he watched papers drift down from the burning skyscraper, he realized that his cousin, Steven Schlag, a trader at Cantor Fitzgerald, was on one of the upper floors of the tower, National Catholic Reporter reported.

A second plane then hit the other tower, confirming that this was a coordinated terrorist attack. Connor said he was distressed as he thought about his cousin's family, a wife and three children. The experience led him to question God deeply. Connor had lost his father in another terrorist attack 26 years before September 11, which deepened his grief and left him feeling like a repeat victim of extreme violence.

The September 11 attacks killed nearly 3,000 people. Connor said he has gradually found consolation in his Catholic faith. He credits part of that strength to his son, an Augustinian friar preparing for the priesthood. "His faith has helped me be more introspective and to understand what it means to be Catholic," said Connor, who attends Mass regularly. Over the years he has come to accept the losses in his family, saying that although he does not fully understand the reasons behind the tragedy, he trusts that God has a purpose. "Maybe I don't understand why Steve was killed, but I feel God has a reason for it," he said.

Faith as a response to suffering

Jean Schlag Nebbia, Steven Schlag's sister, who lives in Florida, has also kept her faith since her brother's death. Unlike many who question God after a tragedy, Nebbia never blamed God for the attacks. "I never blamed God for 9/11. I feel we are given the gift of life and then the gift of choice," she told National Catholic Reporter.

After months of deep distress, Nebbia decided to hand her grief over to God, a turning point in her mourning. "The moment I decided to put this in God's hands was a turning point," she said, crediting her Catholic upbringing with helping her face the tragedy without abandoning her faith. Over the years, though, Nebbia has begun to question whether she can forgive the terrorists, a tension she has not fully resolved.

The rosary amid the anguish

Vera Murphy Trayner, whose husband Patrick Murphy died in the attack, also leaned on her faith at the worst moments. Patrick Murphy was a vice president for technology at Marsh McLennan and was on the 97th floor of the first tower hit. Running home from her son's school, Trayner prayed the rosary fervently, pleading for her husband to be saved. The prayer was not answered as she hoped, but Trayner has found consolation in the belief that his death "happened for a reason," part of a divine plan beyond human understanding.

Over the years, Trayner has looked for answers to her questions about faith and loss, relying on the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the intercession of the saints. She has found some peace through those practices, but the wound remains. "I'm still haunted by the thought of how my first husband must have suffered," she said.